Blart: The Boy Who Didn’t Want to Save the World’ by Dominic Barker
It should be made clear from the start that Blart never wanted to be a hero. He had not been brought up on tales of bravery and courage in the face of overwhelming odds; he had been brought up on a pig farm. He had not read the myths and legends of the dim distant past where noble men and women gloriously chanced all for others; he had read his grandfather’s books which were mainly about diseases that pigs got. He had not learnt to ride a horse or to sword fight or to risk his life for the honour of a beautiful woman. He had learnt that if you want to catch a pig you sneak up on it from behind and take it by surprise.
‘Silverfin’ by Charlie Higson
The smell and noise and confusion of a hallway full of schoolboys can be quite awful at twenty past seven in the morning. The smell was the worst part – from this great disorderly mass rose the scent of sweat and sour breath and unwashed bodies, mixing with the two-hundred-year-old school odour of carbolic and floor polish.
Boys as a rule don’t notice bad smells, they’ve other things on their mind, but one boy did. He stood alone in the centre of all the chaos, while a torrent of excited youth barged past him, and wished he were somewhere else. He wasn’t used to these crowds, these numbers, this noise, this smell.