Neighbours
Dear Mr and Mrs Simms,
I am writing to you to complain about the persistent noise produced by your springer spaniels: Trevor and Gordon. I am not a dog-loather (indeed I do quite like dogs myself), however your two dogs bark all hours of the day, and I believe the whole neighbourhood is unable to rest. I have had to put with this racket for over a month now; I have not had a decent night’s sleep in an age!
Despite my continual attempts to bring this to your attention, you have simply ignored my requests or have made false promises. The former owner of your house was a peaceful man and very considerate. I myself am a tolerant person, but this is simply a step too far.
I did rather want this to be a last resort. However, you leave me with no alternative but to contact the authorities and report you for ‘disturbance of the peace’. According to the current legislation, residents are not permitted to create loud noises after 10pm.
With regret,
Mrs Jones
K McCallam©
Holidays from Hell
Dear Sir/Madam
I am writing to express my utter disappointment with my recent holiday at The ‘Grand’ Hotel in Dubrovnik. I reserved a two week stay at this ‘tranquil, idyllic retreat’ and returned from my holiday exasperated, in ill-health and with a very negative frame of mind! I shall outline my main concerns below:
My wife and I selected one of your deluxe suites with an ocean view. Imagine our disappointment when we entered a room that could at best be described as rudimentary. The room was far too small, the en-suite was shabby and the ‘white’ linen was quite frankly, grey!!! Moreover, our ocean view was non-existent. The only way we could see the sea was to lean over our balcony in the far left-hand corner. In actual fact, our vista was of the hotel kitchens, where we would regularly see the chef and waiting-staff smoking and chatting loudly at all hours of the day!
One of the main reasons we selected the Grand Hotel was due to its proximity to the town centre, however, on arrival, we found it took a bus journey, followed by a five-minute walk to access any form of civilisation. We were therefore forced to remain on site for most of our stay.
During the day-time , the pool area was swamped with children. ‘Idyllic’ and ‘tranquil’ it was not. Not only did they hog all the sun-loungers, but nothing was done to prevent them running riot in the 'swimming only' lanes. I was unable to complete an effective swimming session for my entire visit, and I had to rise incredibly early in order to secure a lounger. This was neither 'tranquil', nor 'idyllic' I can tell you!
As for the food? Underwhelming to say the least! Your website boasts of 'freshly -cooked international cuisine sourced with local ingredients', yet most of the dishes on offer were pre-made and catered to what I assume you believe is the British palette. If I wanted sausages and mash and spaghetti bolognaise, I would surely have stayed at home? Where were the authentic Croatian dishes or fresh seafood? A missed opportunity if ever there was one, not to mention the misselling!
I have written to the holiday company to request a full refund, and I suggest that, if you wish to remain in business, you address the above issues forthwith. I shall be leaving a less than favourable review on Trip Advisor , lest any other unsuspecting tourists fall foul of such gross misrepresentation.
Regards,
Dr P Jenkins
K McCallam©
Lost in Translation!
A fun activity I do is to write a very basic sentence and ask the children to 'make it posh'! I act out 2 ways to complain in a shop, one where I'm rude and have very basic Jeremy Kyle show style language, the other where I'm successfully getting what I want by being formal and polite. Always lots of fun when they have a go!
Oi - I want your attention. - Excuse me. Could I trouble you.. If you don't mind... Sorry...
Nice to meet you - It is a pleasure to meet your acquaintance.
I want you to come to my house - It would be my pleasure if you would be able to visit my residence.
I don't like it - This is not what I expected. This displeases me. This is disgraceful. I do not support this. I would not recommend this to anyone.
This food is yummy - This meal is divine.
I am angry - I am really rather vexed. I must express my irritation. I am piqued. I do not appreciate this...
I want to know - I request further details on this matter. My curiosity has been piqued.
I'm unhappy about this jumper - I find the quality of this article/garment disgraceful. I'm unimpressed with.... This state of affairs disgusts me.
I can assure you that….
I appreciate the fact that....., however…..
I would be most grateful if…..
At the end of the day…..
I do not expect…..
X beggars belief....
I am left wondering....
I must consider whether....
I am less than pleased. ...
I favourable response/outcome
to examine
to observe
to verify.
Word bank – formal complaint letter
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to complain about…
I am writing to inform you that…
I am writing to tell you about…
This happened when.....
In addition to this...
Furthermore....
I would also like to point out that...
It is my opinion that...
I expected...
I hoped...
I believed...
In addition...
How would you feel if...?
How would you respond if...?
I would like to suggest that...
To improve this situation, I think...
In conclusion…
Yours faithfully,
Yours sincerely,